I sit here, on this cold October night, listening to Henry Rollins’ radio show. My writing has been all over the place since I quit my job earlier this year. I’ll work on one thing, then go work on another. I have a comic thing that just needs a few more panels to be draw, then to be inked, colored, and worded. But I keep forgetting about it in favor of other things. It doesn’t help that there’s, let’s say, an addicting thing I read up on. A thing that has no relevance to myself, nothing that will change my mind, and that I know I really need to just stop reading about it. I guess I should come out and say it’s a ideology that I don’t care to name, given it’s touche subject matter. It’s ideologues just seem to keep popping up where ever I go, especially creeping into certain sub-cultures I am apart of. I do find that talking to actual people, gives me a grounding in reality that helps to get my mind of it. Just too bad I’m not very social, like at all. Everybody just seems to be too busy for me.
I’ve found myself seeking input, clicking bookmark after bookmark trying to find something to stimulate myself. I started going to the various web forums I used to go to. I can’t believe how long it was since I posted anything on them, and many of them have died or become really slow. I started reading my old posts, recognizing them as something that I wrote, but so young and cringe-worthy. I didn’t think that I’ve grown so much since I was 18-19 years old, but enough to want to slap my younger self upside the head. But he (my younger self) would probably hit me back for not doing as much as I should have in 5 years. But more on that later. I miss the discussion focus and community of forums. I actually hate using facebook for mass conversation, it’s like trying to talk to a bunch of people who are severely ADHD. Twitter is useless for actually talking to people. A good conversation or debate can not be done in 160 character limits. I only have twitter to follow people who use it as a news thing. Honestly, I don’t think people actually like to talk at length about anything anymore. I noticed how certain people would spout some political insult, thinking twitter’s format would save them from debate. Of course they would then get mad when people tried to debate them. Cowards. We’re becoming such an illiterate shallow-minded society. Write a long, well thought out something or another, and it’s largely ignored. Write a single sentence bumper-sticker/T-shirt like platitudes, and you get 20+ likes, and 10 comments of lols.
Anyway, where was I going, oh yeah.
I think without something firm to push against, my ambitions just seem to go all over the place. I need to get some self-discipline here. No, I don’t need another person, need to do this myself. I think what would help is if I had a solid daily schedule to follow, but I have had a mad sleep schedule, and it’s hard to pin down what to do when. I’d like to do a web-comic, something with a deadline to follow and meet. It’ll help more if I get fans, people to pressure me to get the work done.
I’ll be job hunting soon, just to get some income. This is probably going to be my car’s last winter. It has never liked the winter, and it’s probably going to hurt real bad this year.
Ahh, I haven’t actually written anything about my projects. Eh, maybe it’s best to keep these things under wraps until they’re almost ready. But just a question if any of you care to answer: Would anybody watch/listen to a GHM and ChaosNinj4 podcast thing? Let me know on the forums, my facebook, whatever.
-From A Place Where Nothing Happens.
{discuss on the forums}